great to greatest

pros: i have groceries, i have money, i have cigarettes, i have girlscout cookies, i have no roommate for the weekend, i have half a monster left from breakfast and i have a cute boy with drugs laying on my floor right now.
midterms are over and i just found out hockey are from portland.

cons: got written up for having boys over after curfew, missed out on the opportunity for a fucking epic 3way. did not, however, miss out on the morning beer vomit.
mystery bruises all over my back, beer splash on the ceiling, hella bottles hidden in the closet. and my tights ripped.

but really honestly this has been the best weekend in a very long time.
and it's not even half over.

you don't even know, dude.

recipe for the perfect thursday:

skip 2 classes

hit up the mall with a couple black chicks

5 finger discount at forever 21 + $25 pacsun gift card

hummus and baguette for dinner

bum several cigarettes off several different people

finish psych homework in 15 minutes

convince yourself both midterms tomorrow will be easy as shit

sex trafficking lyceum = 20 pts extra credit

roommate gone for the weekend

3 monsters

clean laundry

clean dorm

payday on monday

guaranteed alcohol & ayo for the next 3 days

and finally... finding the last marshmallow in the lucky charms.

great day. and this stupid week is almost over.

one guess.

direct quotes

"so in the downstairs bathroom, the toilet has blue water, so when you pee it turns this beautiful turquoise color...slash teal, i don't know. it's so pretty! just sitting there. and i didn't want to flush it, because then it's gone...forever."

"it's scary how well asher roth knows our lives."

yep. living the concordia dream, y'all.

two for tuesday

5:24 pm

"hey we're going to play pool in the SEAC come up here"

5:26 pm

"uh why?"

5:29 pm

"i dunno dude just bored and stoned. story of my life."

& currently watching step brothers on a blanket on the floor by candlelight, still high with hot cocoa and cafeteria food.

drunken words

or sober thoughts?

"you and cigarettes are the only consistencies in my life"

laundry + cocoa + valentine's chocolates + the marijuana-logues = pretty good saturday. so far.

sorry this is all over the place. whatever.

things i have learned in college

1. how to ration cigarettes when you and all your smoker friends are broke.

2. the same thing, with weed.

3. when it comes to thirsty thursday (and friday and saturday... and the rest of the week), $2.50 goes a long way.

4. random hookups in high school make you a slut. random hookups in college make you everyone's best friend.

5. long distance relationships don't mean shit. to the people in the relationship or anyone else.

6. short skirts generally lead to free alcohol.

7. bring hot friends to parties.

8. convenience store clerks around campus could care less if you're 21.

9. the amount of church kids who will still talk to you by the end of the semester is directly proportionate to the number of times you've stumbled into the building drunk at 3am.

10. always, always hit on public safety. and drug dealers.

"this is just like high school, only we live here and instead of parents we have RA's"

with my glock out

the constant search for acclamation

best weekend ever?
possibly.
total score: approx. 15 bowls, 3 oxycodone, 2 vicodin, 2 shots of whiskey, 3 of 100 proof vodka, 1.5 packs of cigarettes, .5 tank of gas

we built this city

it's 1:19, class at 11 tomorrow and i am 3 bowls and 1 smirnoff into this essay.
it's going to be a long week.


it's okay though because this weekend we'll pretend it's summer.
drive out to the island and toke up on the beach,
listening to nothing but shwayze, sublime and less than jake.

fuck this campus; we need sand, water and the island cove cafe.