rampant douchebaggery

so about a week ago my friend and i (high off our asses) typed some crazy bullshit into google translator, posted it all over myspace in german, then translated it back into english.

anyway, i just re-read it and it is possibly the most hilarious thing i've ever read:

"Hello my firm friends, I would like your farts swallow because I love you so. They mean so much to me, I would bake biscuits, you best. praise the Lord! it is time for celebration! Use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation always in your life. my swing with your fists high fives. and six and sevens. They give me cheek, I give you Ass"


AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH


but then i laughed for like an hour when i read this freshman year.

slow it down

music: Cold War Kids - Tell Me in the Morning

so here is my problem:
i habitually pick a random guy (usually a celebrity) who i think is marginally attractive and project onto them everything i want them to be until it doesn't matter that they're kind of a jerk and not that attractive because i'm so focused on what i imagine them to be like that i'm blind to reality.

it's ridiculous and immature and i hate it, but i'm sure a billion other teenage girls have this same problem.


but anyway.
i had a dream last night that my uncle died and i woke up crying.
it was awful!
i get upset just thinking about it.
at the same time, though, i love that a dream can affect you so strongly like that.
the right dream can just mess you up for the entire day, which can be a good or bad thing.
it's so amazing that your subconscious can have such a huge influence on your emotions.

i will spit until i learn how to speak

music: Neutral Milk Hotel - King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 2-3

UPDATED FOR SUMMER:

this is my summer bag:



this is what's inside my summer bag:

• Oscar de la Renta makeup bag
• 30GB iPod
• LG Chocolate cell phone (not shown; used it to take the pictures.)
• No One Belongs Here More Than You, Stories by Miranda July
• Car/House keys on Victoria's Secret keychain/ID tag
• BIC lighter
• pen
• 2 mints from Sonic (i'm eating one now.)
• Deck of playing cards with pictures of Jesus on them
• 1.7oz Victoria's Secret Caramel Kiss body lotion
• unopened pack of 5 gum in Rain (spearmint)
• Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lipgloss in I Want Candy
• Sally Hansen Lip Inflation Extreme
• Kenneth Cole wallet containing: 1 Oregon Driver's License, Sephora Beauty Insider card, 2 empty Starbuck's cards, 2007/08 school ID, Key Club ID card, Blood Donor card, Ulta Rewards card, Regal Cinemas Crown Club Rewards card, Coupon for a free DVD rental at one of those crazy machines, 2 expired Tri-Met tickets
• Postcard of the big Mormon church in Salt Lake City i got from some of those door-to-door missionaries.
• CoverGirl pressed powder compact
• Victoria's Secret Amber Romance Body Mist
• 2 Perfume samples of YSL Elle and Dior J'adore
• Sunglasses (not shown; they were on my head.)

Here is what's in my makeup bag for summer:

• Generic eyelash curler
• MAC Eye Kohl in Prunella
• Sonia Kashuk eyebrow brush/lash comb
• Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey
• Covergirl Volume Exact mascara (it's crap, but i can't stand to buy a new one when the old one isn't empty)
• NYC highlighting pencil
• Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion
• Cherry Chapstick
• Boots Botanics foundation in Almond
• Max Factor Pan-Stik foundation/concealer
• Clinique UV-Response Face SPF 50 sunscreen
• Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Things perfume rollerball

i was kind of obsessed with victoria's secret all last year, that's why i have so much shit from them. the makeup will probably change within the next few weeks.

bohemian jeans

music: The Matches - Eryn Smith

AHHHH FUCKING SAT IS OVER.
6 hours of straight testing; holy ass, right?
it was so ridiculous and stupid and draining that i immediately went to jamba, then shopping.

also, had my scores sent to U of O, Linfield, Berkeley and Willamette.

oh let me see let me see

music: Frog Eyes - A Latex Ice Age

today i feel awful.
first of all, the senior assembly was today, which reminds me that a) all my senior friends are gone, b) i'm getting old, and c) i am pretty much worthless compared to the valedictorians and the people getting awards.
also, i'm failing precalculus.
also the fucking SAT is tomorrow and i have not studied at all.

i went shopping.
bought this and this and this.

BLAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

on the edge of your seat

music: Cat Power - Love & Communication

I AM OFFICIALLY KICKASS.