it's done after tonight, i promise.
but today i had to do something.
something which involved, among other things...
- crying in public
- putting up with my relatives
- putting up with my relatives' crying in public
- awkward and slightly shameful conversation, during which i try desperately to avoid eye contact
and afterward...
- drinking alone in my childhood bedroom
- more crying
- listening to an all acoustic playlist i made entitled, "you are fucking pathetic"
but things that make it a little better?
- 1.5 shots of vodka + 1 shot of gin with 7up; 20 oz in 15 minutes
- adventureland on my laptop
- sneaking out for a cigarette
- cold pizza
- friends from high school who are so eager to tell me they love & miss me. probably because i haven't seen them in a year.
- seeing a former prospective's hideous new girlfriend & knowing i am 10 times better.
distractions are good and they will get me through this weekend. and life.
